Talking about mental health with a teenager or young adult can feel difficult, especially when you are worried about saying the wrong thing. But the conversation does not need to be perfect. Often, the most important thing is simply showing that you have noticed, that you care and that you are willing to listen.
Start with a simple, honest question
You do not need a big speech. Try something straightforward such as, “How are you really doing?” or “You don’t seem yourself lately — do you want to talk about it?”
Give them space to answer without immediately trying to fix the problem. Some young people may open up straight away. Others may need time. The fact that you asked can still matter.
Listen without judgement
When someone does talk, try to listen more than you speak. Avoid comparing their situation with someone else’s or telling them they should not feel the way they do. What feels manageable to one person can feel overwhelming to another.
Simple responses such as “I’m glad you told me”, “I’m listening” and “We can work through this together” can help someone feel heard.
Do not accept “I’m fine” automatically
“I’m fine” is often the easiest answer when somebody does not know how to explain what is happening. If you are genuinely concerned, it is okay to ask again gently.
You might say, “You don’t have to tell me everything now, but I’m here when you’re ready.”
Choose the right moment
Some conversations are easier when there is less pressure to make eye contact. A car journey, a walk, cooking together or sitting somewhere familiar can make talking feel more natural.
Try not to force the conversation during an argument or when either of you is rushing somewhere.
Take changes seriously
Changes in mood, sleep, friendships, school or college, appetite, motivation or behaviour can sometimes be signs that somebody is struggling. One change on its own does not automatically mean there is a mental health problem, but a pattern of changes can be a reason to check in.
Encourage professional support when needed
You do not have to solve everything yourself. If a young person is struggling, encourage them to speak with someone qualified to help, such as their GP, school or college support team, or a recognised mental health service.
If you are worried that someone may be in immediate danger, seek urgent professional help rather than trying to manage the situation alone.
Keep the conversation going
Mental health conversations should not only happen when somebody reaches crisis point. Checking in regularly helps make talking about emotions and wellbeing feel normal.
A simple “How are you really?” can become one of the most important questions we ask.
Why Forever 19 talks about this
Forever 19 Community Interest Company was created in memory of Ethan, who died in June 2024 aged 19 after struggling with his mental health.
Our mission is broader than suicide prevention alone. We want to encourage earlier conversations about young people’s mental health, help families and communities feel more confident talking about difficult subjects, and remind young people that they do not have to face their struggles alone.
For professional organisations and services that can offer support, visit our Mental Health Support & Resources page.
You can also learn more about Forever 19 and our story.
0 comments